- Year of Release
- Universal Pictures
- Action, Adventure
- 2 hrs 23 mins
What can we say about this movie that doesn’t sound like we hate Vin Diesel? F9 has to be the least interesting movie in the franchise, even with talented actresses like Helen Mirren and Charlize Theron onboard. The basic synopsis even sounds silly; Dom and Mia now have a long lost brother who also happens to be their greatest enemy? Okay then. No offence to the writer or writers, but this movie really didn’t need to get made.
Now before all the F9 fans out there start planning my demise, I’m not saying this film doesn’t have entertainment value because clearly, it does. The healthy box office sales are proof of that alone. But it’s a certain type of “entertainment” and is definitely aimed at a very specific demographic. And all of that is perfectly fine. If you want to spend your money watching bland characters who end up pulling off stunts (nobody would believe) mostly by driving in heavily modified cars, most people would never drive – please, continue. And therein also lies the recipe for making nine movies about (mostly) fast cars and Dom Toretto’s idea of “family”. Does that sound boring? Maybe more like overdone and tired.
The stuntwork that goes into these movies is an important part of what makes them entertaining, and stunt coordinators are highly undervalued in Hollywood, in my opinion. So the Fast and Furious franchise has its strengths, and it’s a particular audience and the people who make these movies know that. And as long as those people keep buying tickets, they’re going to continue making these movies. F9 was heavily rumoured to be the last in the franchise, but oh no… at the time of writing this, F10 has already been confirmed. Yup – 10 movies in a franchise that started with The Fast and Furious all the way back in 2001. Ugh, now I feel old. Let’s not talk about how F10 is going to be two movies.
So what is it that makes this movie so bad? Well, for starters, the plot is seriously lacking. John Cena comes onboard as Dom and Mia’s brother Jakob. It turns out that Jakob became estranged after a tragic family event that split the Toretto family right down the middle. This gives way to Jakob becoming F9’s bad guy in conjunction with Charlize Theron’s “Cipher” (who, again, didn’t need to be in this film). And that’s it, that’s the story.
The action sequences were so silly that they had me in stitches. I mean a CAR IN SPACE??? Okay, that sounds like it would actually be quite fun to watch as well as ridiculous, which it is. But it can be both of these things and still sell tickets. My point is it doesn’t matter how ridiculous the stunts are or how unbelievable the cars are, or how terrible the script is; some people love this particular type of nonsensical Hollywood over-the-top entertainment.
F9 is using the same template repeatedly that seems to give the fans exactly what they want. So I guess if everyone’s happy about that, everything is cool. But what if they decided to kill off someone major in the next film – perhaps even Dom himself? Do you see that ever happening in this franchise? Would anyone dare to kill the heart and soul of the Fast and Furious? Well, as morbid as that sounds, it’s also something I’d definitely want to see.
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Freelance entertainment writer and reviewer. Visit my blog on https://thebrokenquill.com.